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ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
concussion.
i am seriously not feeling well. its another one and a half hour before i could go off. or should i go off now? i dunno if im sick or not. im just feeling uncomfortable and super ill. i had no idea whats going on. maybe its because of the fall last night. i was walking to my kitchen and my grandfather was telling me something. before i could hear him properly, i already set foot on the super wet kitchen floor and BOOM! i fell on my back, and heavily knocked my head on the ground. okay, so my grandfather was saying 'the floor is wet, pls walk carefully' but i was too fast for that. OUCH! tears rolled down uncontrollably and i was in great pain. i cant even sleep properly at night. when i woke up this morning, i wasnt feeling any better. but i really feel very sick now.
i want to go home. should i stay till 530pm or should i just go off now? but none of my superiors are around. who am i to inform? jason told me i should just wait till about 5 before going off. whats the point? i dont want to wait so long because it would be very crowded during that period. and i am really not in the condition to squeeze in a bus/mrt. i just wish there's someone to tell me something comforting, i dont know what, just something.
my third week as a perm staff at SKL. dont really feel like this is a place that i should be at. i dont know what will happen when the next intern comes in. but work is not good, not enjoyable, not fun. but its not up to me to make decisions. i know that.
great. at least there is something to calm me down, to make me feel better. his voice, his smiles, his slience, and everything. Jam. my sweet Jam.
ps: listening to him makes me feel like im on top of the world. =)
*i wont be alone. || 3:50 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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