ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
sleep. eat. dream. rot. de 4 major things i've did over de past 3days. nothing constructive is done at all. sigh. i need a job. my captain had been asking me to go back to Chevrons to work. but hell, I AM NOT GOING TO BACK THERE FOR SURE!! dun ask me why. -_- also another job at Clarke Quay, still tinking. sigh.
really nothing constructive is done this few days, not at all, nothing tt i could blog abt. sigh. ciaos then.
*i wont be alone. || 11:29 PM
Monday, September 19, 2005
my exams are finally over! hooray! today's paper was easy. it was de first time in poly tt i walked out of de room, feeling so happy cos i knew i had done well. hehe.
argh, i used to think and say that Louis Vuitton products are fugly. and my very first LV wallet that my mom bought me, i stopped using it after 1 week becos i really hate the Monograms design. i seriously think they look UGLY. and now i ate my own words. i cant believe Marc Jacobs could also design such a babe! or maybe its becos of my own fetish for earrings thus i tink its gorgeous. but indeed, its so adorable and ready to die for.

18k yellow gold and fresh water pearls. there's pearls! oh my another addiction. and de hoops are asymemtric, how cute. one has a key, another has a lock. i could cry jus looking at it. personally, i dun haf any liking in gold stuffs but these hoops are jus so fanta-bulous! how many foodless days do i need to get these hoops?! sigh.
here's another babe. Vivienne Westwood necklace.
a combination of my 2 favourites! pink and pearls!! singapore doesnt even carry this brand! and so what if it does, im THIS poor to afford it. sigh. better stop dreaming about all these branded stuffs. sigh.
oh yar, there's actually this pair of Dior earrings that is so much better than de LV one. but de picture is in my baby lappy and now i guess de pic is gone. sigh. cant save back de same pic as de webby changes their collection every now and then. sadded. tt pair of hoops are more worthy to die for. hehe.
ciaos.
*i wont be alone. || 1:32 PM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
1,000 songs. Impossibly small. iPod nano
http:///www.apple.com/ipodnano
i wan it. yes i wan this! MUM!!!!
with this, im not so afraid of formatting or changing my lappy's hard disk again. yeah.
adios.
*i wont be alone. || 1:36 AM
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
i hate de new friendster startup page. argh. why do they always have to change de page?! argh.
today is supposed to be de official day for my holidays, today's paper supposed to be de last paper. but hell no. i've to retake my maths paper next monday. argh, when everybody is enjoying their hols, i still got a paper to take! and i got camp tt day. wth. sigh.
and i tink im having bad luck this few days. my baby lappy had crashed again. guess its de same prob, have to change de whole hard disk, and this time i got no time to do any backup at all! cos de system cant even work! byebye to all my photos, songs and watever rubbish in my lappy. hollyshit. and my baby lappy always chose this kinda critical moment to die on me. tt time was during common test. and now its during exams. argh. i need my baby lappy so much to survive for my papers. and mel center dun allow me to get de loan set de day i brought my lappy in. phew, alright, period.
had been mia-ing for quite sometime. hehe, grace cursed me in her blog, saying i got drown in Indian Ocean. damn tt bitch. haha, im so alive and kicking and ready to kick her ass. lol. poor grace, still got 2 more papers to go. hehe, going to meet her to chill at holland v after her last paper. hehe. got this feeling tt i wont be enjoying this coming hols so much, sigh.
alright, i tink im going to change a new layout, thou i still like this alot. wahaha. crap. oh ya, i remember wat i wanted blog abt last nite. DAMN! i stepped onto a LIZARD when i went to toilet last nite!! its a NIGHTMARE! but it didnt die, and its tail is not broken too. hmmm. but i felt so disgusted tt i rushed into my granny's room, and used her toilet and sat on de toilet bowl and washed my sole for ten minutes! using large amount of Dettol(is it spelt like this?) to disinfect my foot! argh. and i tink i might be having some mental problem after this incident. i kept feeling itchy at my sole. argh. and as my room is super-duperly messy, when i walked around in my room, whenever i stepped onto something, i will freak out! tink i shld pack my room and make sure there's nth on de floor. ARGH!
okay, tts about it. ciaos.
*i wont be alone. || 11:20 PM
Thursday, September 01, 2005
i wanted to blog about my yesterday and today. but now i got much more things to say about another thing. PROJECT SUPERSTAR! duh, de results is so, so and SO KAYU! im totally NOT against Kelvin or whatever, and im definitely NOT being biased about Kelly. but i cant believe Singaporeans are so BLIND! i dun look down on Kelvin jus becos he's blind or anything, in fact, i do support him couple of weeks ago. but now its like no matter how i look and listen, Kelly is so much more better than him. well at least all de judges agree. they had 5rounds of singing and Kelly won 4! and now she's eliminated becos of lesser votes?! and those no. of votes might not even be true. de production crew can say watever they wan about de sales of their singles and votes but in fact no one will noe! a friend of mine jus says its something like conspiracy theories. which i dun really noe wat he means. -_- sorry peeps i got quite ALOT to say bout this. okay, even if Kelvin really receives more votes, i tink tts becos most of his supporters are those aunties and adults and they got more freaking money than those teenagers supporting Kelly. okay whichever it is. poor Kelly. and de strong girl din even shed a tear when i bet alot of her supporters will be crying like mad. its okay. she's already my superstar. sigh. alright enough of my rantings. something good to say abt today's show, all 22 contestants look damn glamorous and gorgeous. even those guys tat i used to tink look rather sucky turn out to be so yandao today. de power of a grand event. and Chanel's becoming prettier!!! woah.
okay enough of superstar talk.
my biz etiquette class ended today. and im feeling really upset jus tt i din cry. i love that class alot, really. its not only knowledgable, its oso enjoyable. wid those lovely classmates and that lovely pregnant teacher, how i hope i could stay in that class forever. but unfortunately, all GOOD things have to come to an end. only BAD things remain as they are. sad isnt it? sigh. its okay, we'll meet somehow. hehe.
skipped morning class today. haha, wanted to go ling's and sleep. but she didnt reply my message. so went to Fajar to meet precious phuihae for breakfast and den go to her place. damn, im maybelyn lor and i actually got bullied by her kid sister. how sad. and i actually lost de UNO game to her and her kid sister! wat de hell. haha. lost to a 8yr old girl, no face already lah. lol.
oh yar, went town ytd wid ling. did my IS assignment in Zara. haha. here's de pic.

formal isnt it? damn, i look like im 10 yrs older, minus my cheeky face. trying hard to hide de price tag of tt blazer when taking tat pic. de blazer costs $145! oh gracious. haha. and both me and ling eyed on this Zara purple skirt, costs $89.90. damn, so freaking ex. here's de skirt.

haha. ling liked it so much tat she almost din wan to leave Zara. but i told her she could get some similar ones in a more economical price. brand is not a problem. haha.
oh yar, highlight of yesterday. i got another motive going town ytd. i wanted to find someone. ivy told me she saw this someone working @ Far East and hell! he's becuming like a WOMAN. he keeps long hair, wears make up and put on nail polish on nails longer than mine! alright, if its black nail polish, i'll say its still merely acceptable. but his is those glittery PEACH?!?!?!?! my goodness. i looked around de whole of Far East but still din get to see him. in de end, when i was taking bus home, he happened to be on de same bus wid me. oh hell. i nearly think tat was a ghost bus leading me somewhere near hell. whoops, sorry to be so mean, but ling shared de same thots as me. people reading my blog wondering is who? haha. he's a junior from Zhenghua Sec. so my Zhenghua peeps, if u wan to noe who's this Mr. Incredible, talk to me privately. i dun wan to be tat bad. hahaha. i hope he doesnt read my blog. hahaha.
oh here's some pictures of my biz etiquette class. hearts them.
deborah, me, sheralene and eldora.
sorry for de blur effect. weehoon doesnt really noe how to take pictures ah. hehe.
deborah, rena, me, sheralene, weehoon, eldora and tat extra paige.
ms zarina and me!
oh look at her tummy! how i wish to get pregnant now! lol! have been telling ling de whole of ytd tat i wanted a baby. due to alot of influences around me. ms zarina, de drama showing on channel 8 9pm, Xiao S and ling's 2nd sister-in-law! hahaha.
paige, me and clara.
some female homosexuality going on. but looks like paige doesnt really wanna go along. hahaha.
us! wid a few girls missing!
and here they come! how sweet!
realise there's no guys? haha. cos tt day was makeup lesson. but took a real class foto today. will upload it soon. i love this class. take care all my darlings.
*i wont be alone. || 11:09 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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