ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
woah. school started abt a week le. well, all i can say is, im not being a gd student these few days. in fact, i am never one. keke. im so glad tt now i've jamie, xi and jiaen wid me in school. goodbye lonely days.
got de chance to enjoy myself de day before school starts. went town after church service wid ling, jamie, yy and grp, pris and grp, charles, benjamin and jonathan. whee. finally ate my chicken rice from far east!! now's left wid bah kut teh and frog porridge. i've been craving for them since weeks ago. esp. frog porridge!! nanny charles gotta eat vegetarian diet so we cant eat this fri. =( den ben left earlier and de rest of us went party world. lalala. keke. there's no room available so we all sang in de hall. cool! haha. charles left us earlier too. den we headed heerens to take neoprints. keke. =) den we saw this CUTE DOGGIE outside heerens when we were abt to leave. its super cute!! i tink its a chao-chao or however u spell tt la, de breed tt look like a lion!! my god!! its super super super CUTE!!!!! DOGS!!!!!!!!
argh. feeling blue. i predict i'll be in a super bad mood tml. beware peeps!!! i bite!!! =( ciaos.
*i wont be alone. || 7:11 PM
Monday, April 24, 2006
its painful to hide. how long will i take to face the truth? to face the person i owe an explanation to? im really sorry. =( if given a choice, i would rather all this didnt take place at all. give me a new way to go. =(
*i wont be alone. || 12:07 AM
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
its the 2nd month. happy or sad? u tell me.
*i wont be alone. || 12:04 AM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
well. i bet this is going to be a bad week for me and my dear friends. all bad things came at one time. not only de bad Superband results. to my dearest baby sis ling, i understand how u feel abt tt matter. well it once happened to me too. but i guess this is jus life, and we jus have to face de reality and accept de fact. ling, i wan u to be happy. like how u always wanted me to be. to my bestest friend peixi, im so sorry abt ur absence for recording and results. and i noe how bad it is, when u're all alone at home, watching tt bad results, and no one is beside u to share de pain. i hope i could be by ur side too. but i bet u understand, even if we're far away from each other, we're feeling de same. to my honey jamie, sorry for making u cry tt night. i dun mean to. i noe de fight between me and ling affected u, i understand de feeling when u lose a friend. i swear, i'll hold on to u right till de end. never would i let go again. and im very sure u wont do tt to me again. as for myself, i guess besides telling ling to face de reality, i need to do so too. and besides, lately im kinda busy wid superband stuffs tt i totally ignore de voice in me, telling me de way. im feeling very 'rojak' now. and after hearing wat someone jus told me, i feel even bad. and why is it like this? it jus aint suppose to be affecting me at this moment now. i bet i got better stuffs to do. boo. my girls, pls take care of urself, emotionally and physically.
alright. last nite was superband quarter finals one results. oh well, i jus mentioned tt de results were bad. so period. but i bet de guys would definitely make a comeback. =) oh and i finally managed to eat my prata from thomson last nite. whee. too bad benjamin aint wid us. =( guess he's really not feeling good. i hope he's fine now. but supper is really nice. =) reached home wid jamie at arnd 4am plus. couldnt sleep. chatted wid peixi on fone till next morning. and finally managed to catch some sleep at 7am. =x peixi came up my place and we started playing mahjong. hahs. a good way of relieving stress. they jus left my place not so long ago. =) i hope all my girls are feeling alright now. life is never fair. no matter how hard some people try, they jus couldnt get wat they wan. sigh. so jus to tell de guys, dun ever give up. me and my girls will always be there, u guys know tt right. we'll be behind u guys, always.
oh ya, and de other day, me, ling and peixi went to expo for city harvest church service wid jonathan. woah 1st time. haha. was damn happy tt day. haha. ling too. everyone else also. haha. went town after tt and took lots of pictures all de way. keke. went party world wid ling after makaning at cinecafe. thanks to jonathan for his voucher. keke. =)
alright enough said. photos time.
in mrt, from expo to town. keke.

me in jonathan's so vintage shades. keke. =)

with jonathan as background. lol. boo~

our reflections.

again.

love my sister so much.

oh man. love at our difference. =x

my reflection.

going crazy on mrt. wahaha.

she's more than a blood sister. =)

woah, arent we lovely? keke.

look so good in funny faces too. muhaha. jk.

i love her.

she loves me too. muhaha.
17th april.
[all pics taken wid jamie's phone. shld have get VS2 instead of Nokia 6111!]
me, zilian-ing. muhaha.
jamie and me. love her love her love her.
me and prissy. i got her 1st kiss. wahaha. thanks lemon sour.
me and jonathan.
again.
again. he dunno how to take photos de lo. blur!
me and mummy yiyun. omg!
me and nah-nah.
again.
me and nanny charles lee!
me and jonathan again. =)
our 1/2 family portrait, w/o benjamin and peixi! =(
me and my beloved ling!!! =)
im tired. i noe im different from them. maybe tts wat u're looking for. -_-
*i wont be alone. || 6:02 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
whee. stomach is rumbling. so hungry. keke. waiting for xi to be ready for dinner. went for SuperBand quarter finals one ytd. saw irwin there too. he's supporting his friends, ManTou. keke. he's still so cute as usual la, holding tt steamer thingy. lol. btw, g-force's performance is splendid! plus their outfits, my god. i jus cant stop laughing lah. anyway, towards de end of de recording, smth quite unpleasant happened thou, between me and ling. but i guess now we're alright le. due to tt unpleasant incident, she went home earlier and didnt join us for supper. =( and yes supper. wanted to go thomson to eat prata, but its so crowded there we ended up in macdonalds. argh. i had a really bad day la, jus cant get de food i wan. boo!
photos again.

3 cute little schoolboys. haha. reminiscing de old school days ah. =)
me and alex. quite blur thou. hmpf. =x
me and jonathan. i think he looks like a prefect among them three. =x
jonathan and me, again.
me and my cute little schoolboy, NAH! haha. cant stand their outfits.
oh well. hmmm.
me and my honey jamie! =) she cried for me tt nite. i jus love her so much.
headed home after supper wid jamie. reached home at abt 4am. cool ah. haha. we fell asleep w/o bathing. eeks! but we're too tired. keke. god, forgive me jus this once pls. haha. =)

a picture taken few days ago, before Big Jam results show. love this girls. they simply rock my life. =)
oh, and since now i noe tt nanny charles lee read my blog quite frequently, i shall thank him here, for bringing us food ytd. so sweet of him. thanks la nai ba! =)
*i wont be alone. || 7:09 PM
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
woah. a tiring and sick weekend. went to Chevrons chalet. argh! why mus jonathan choose tt place? tts de last place i wan to go!!! nvm. anyway, went to chalet to watch Big Jam. i know, right, its lame. but well, its something tt de guys did tt we shld appreciate. initially de chalet were CROWDED. really crowded. so many girls and so little guys. keke. after Big Jam, some started to leave. and me, ling, xi, jamie, charles, jeremy nah-nah, michelle and minzy decided to go supper @ toh guan. tts de last 2nd place i wan to go. =x well, bought supper back for jonathan. our whole group were well entertained by lizards, toads, snails and more along our way there and back. argh LIZARDS! was playing daidee wid ling, xi and nah-nah when we decided to watch American Pie. haha. its freaking funny la. nah's laughters were totally hilarious! haha. den having a great chat by de pool wid ling, xi and jamie when jon and charles joined. chatted for very long. woah. ling, xi, jamie and me left chalet @ 6plus in de morning. all headed to my place when i bathed and off we go! haha. shhh.
some photos taken at chalet.

dun doubt, im inside tt blanket. idiot. =x

he forced me. =x sobs. mom!
and now i realised jonathan has a big mouth. hahaha!

now jonathan attacked benjamin.

me and benjamin. both victims 'violated' by jonathan. hahaha.

erm, 'Fu Lu Shou' of de night. ha.

ling and me. love this pic so much! =)

ling and me, again. i love her even more.

me and jamie, having supper.

jamie, totally mesmerized by mr. zhang shuwei. haha.

xi and me, by de pool. woah!
went to mediacorp for Big Jam results show de day after chalet. cool. G-Force made it into Top 14!! congrats. oh and benjamin's mom and bro are wid us. his brother is totally cute!! hahaha. period. went newton for supper after results show. oh, i totally lost my voice due to lack of sleep. wth. de rest jus ate those delicacies in front me when i coud only eat fishball soup. tts bad. argh! headed home wid ling after supper. tiring and angry night. i actually got scolded by some irritating girls for nothing. jonathan better do smth to compensate me. haha.
photos again.

alright, im too bored at mediacorp. =x

sisters rock!!

me and rayve, love his name. =)
whee, supper time!

jonathan and me.

sisters and jonathan.

ling and me. SCANDALOUS. haha.
then we have this idea. keke.

lucky jonathan. =)

nah-nah and me.

sisters and nah-nah.

nah got lucky too. =)

me and benjamin. stupid lights!

sisters and ben. he looks so sleepy......

but so perked up when its his turn! haha.

now charles gets his chance. haha. i tink he mus be waiting. =)
charles and me. haha. he's nanny charles lee! haha.
woah. yawns. off to sleep. chalet later again! ciaos. =)
*i wont be alone. || 3:01 AM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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