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ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
SUCKY TUESDAY.
i swear, today could be mark as the black-est and worst day i've been through in the whole attachment period in SKL. okay, at least a super bad morning! (okay, other the few days a few months ago.)
the thing is, i woke up late today, feeling super tired as i slept at 5am plus this morning. so i've decided to take bus 187 to boon lay interchange and change to bus 249. so i had a super good sleep on the bus, and, and, AND the very moment i alighted from the bus at the interchange, bus 249 just left, right in front of me, right under my nose! okay, this already means i would be even later if im going to wait for another bus, so i decided to spend the bloody UNNECESSARY money and take a cab. hello, it was 830am and there was a STUPID $2 peak period surcharge. NOW I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHATS PEAK PERIOD. okay, having to spend the idiotic cab fare was fustrating enough. hey, i was supposed to be saving money okay! but money is NOT the main issue! i was sulking and waiting for the bloody cab, when there's woman, just CONVENIENTLY stationed herself a few metres in front of me! i swear, i told myself if she's going to board the first available cab, im going to curse herself till the sun goes down. and there she was. reaching out her hand, FLAGGING for the first available cab that came in sight! i was 'fuck you'-ing all the way, watching her board the Comfort cab. hey, isnt obvious enough im there first?! okay, at least i knew that this BITCH was there. within the few seconds when she's boarding the cab, there's another cab passed by and i flagged for it but it didnt stop. so naturally, my eyes was following the boot of the cab and the next moment i turned back to check for more cabs, another BIG BLOODY BITCH, coming from out of nowhere, was flagging for a approaching cab just a few steps in front of me!! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!! no basic courtesy at all!!! her parents, her school, anyone at all, DIDNT TEACH HER MANNERS AH! i feel so ashamed to be even stepping on the same ground as she did. WHAT! only the two of you late for work ah! HELLO! MISS MAYBELYN ONG IS ALSO LATE CAN! and i am very sure the 2nd cab driver knew that i was there FIRST! argh. and whats worse, the cab which i finally got up, the driver doesnt know the way and i have to give directions all the way. cant even rest!! and his bloody deaf ears just shut down on me. i said "DO NOT GO UP THE FLYOVER" and he nearly WENT UP! thank god i stopped in time. if not, i wouldnt even be blogging now!
okay, so much for pointing fingers and putting blame on others. IF i hadnt woke up late, all this wouldnt have happen. i would be comfortably sitting on my company bus at 735am, waiting for my ass to be send to the office. okay, MY FAULT! HAPPY?!
what, you think this is the end?! HELL NO! talking about office now. after spending $8 on the stupid journey from boon lay interchange to office, i thought every unlucky thing would be over. i walked happily, hoping to enjoy this brand new day, towards the lift lobby. when it suddenly striked me that, THE BLOODY LIFT IS NOT WORKING SINCE YESTERDAY! ya, want to make fun of me right, see how pathetic and unlucky i could get! ya, u got me!! asshole!! never mind, i climbed the stairs. and now, sitting at my desk, just hoping that all bad things would come to an end. but turning 45degrees to my right, i know its not possible. documents and files piling up, waiting for me to complete.
ya and why am i still blogging right?! i just need to vent my anger out! i am in a super low mood today. =(
ps: dont challenge me, for you wont know what i am capable of. i am not what i seem to be. the more you want to bring me down, the stronger i will stand. this is me, this is maybelyn. she fights when she needs to. she would NOT submit to fate. NO.
end of story.
*i wont be alone. || 9:18 AM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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