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ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
sleepy mode.
i am so so so sleepy. i have to do something to keep myself awake, but i just dont feel like doing my work! i dont have enough brain cells now. argh. so bloody sleepy, like i have taken a dozen BOTTLES of sleeping pills. okay, tts too much. but yeah, tts almost how sleepy i am now.
was supposed to be meeting my sugar-coated sister for Shrek 3 later. but really gotta get home straight after work. grandpa is not feeling very well, and i am very worried. he's 60 this year, a very heavy smoker who has been smoking almost all his life, and he just got lung infection last month. see, thats what i hate about smoking. it kills, really kills. and to see someone i love so much, getting really sick because of smoking (most likely because of that), just make me hate smoking even more. i swear, i would never, ever date a guy who smoke, AGAIN. and i mean it. see, the one and only reason why i hate my boyfriend to smoke, is that i would never want to see the one i love, killing himself gradually, and not being able to do anything. right, so much about this. i just wish that my grandpa is going to be okay, he is going to! i havent been able to repay all that he has done for me for this 20years yet. he must, and he will live till the day i become what he wants me to be, and even longer. same goes for my granny and mom, the ones i love the most.
went queensway with regynna yesterday. bought my converse pants and yoga mat. hmmm, really wanted to get a 5mm thick mat, but its really heavy. so could only get the 3mm thick one. in PINK. whee. regynna is a really nice girl to hang out with, and talk to. and she says that i insult and criticize her all the time, but really, i mean nothing like what i say. yeah so girl, dont get upset. yeah i know she wont, like she even care right. ha, and whats worse, she wont even read my blog. duh! LOL. but then again, its really nice and lucky to get to know her in SKL, at least that would be something good to mention about attachment. =]
and yeah its 5pm already!! what a long day. and yeah, tomorrow is fridayyy! finally. oh yea, just to mention, i got myself pretty nice manicure on monday. shall post the pic soon. =]
ciaos.
ps: its about time for everything to end, for the last string attached to snap. bye.
*i wont be alone. || 5:03 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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