ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Monday, July 24, 2006
i cant screenshot mobtv videos! i am very upset and pissed! >.< those videos are nice! wahaha.
LING, i want to watch movie!! i want to watch LakeHouse!! i dont care!! LAKEHOUSE! keanu reeves! sandra bullock!
anyway, my peaceful days just dont seem to last. shit happened again. sigh. jamie was quite affected by it. im kinda immuned to it already.
i am SO TIRED. i need a bed! i need to sleep! the beauty queen needs her beauty sleep! *roll ur eyes lah* anyway, tt sounds familiar. a few years back, one day my boyfriend smsed "my beauty queen, are u awake from ur beauty sleep?" haha sweet. *roll ur eyes some more lah*
sigh. was watching mobtv exclusives. sigh.
"champions are not those who never fail but those who never give up"
those were the days seriously. i hate to admit but I AM missing those people. never mind. its all over. we've all moved on right? i bet they're enjoying the days without us. well, its the same for us, isnt it? yeah it is.
oh well. the fact is that jamie, ling, peixi and me are all BIG LIARS. we've been telling ourselves and each other that we've put everything behind us. but NO. we seriously DID NOT let go at all, we're still holding tightly, even on the slightest hope.
yesterday jamie changed her msn display picture. i was tearing. THOSE WERE THE DAYS. but i couldnt bring myself to look at them for one more second. sorry jamie for wat i said yesterday. i know those were memories, beautiful memories. but at this point of time, i really dun wan to reminisce at all. *cover face and cry*
sometimes i would look at those pictures that we took, MEMORIES really dont lie. but those people and stuffs that could once put a smile across just lost the ability to do that ever. i cant smile and be happy even looking back. =( thats really pathetic.
my peaceful days wont last, right? T.T
ciaos.
*i wont be alone. || 8:40 AM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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