i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
sobs. my baby's having a major operation. and i left her in de ICU last night. having a really bad time at home, tinking how's de going. and jaymie jus reminded me to mention tt im using her lappy to blog. omg, i miss my baby. have yet to tink of a name for her. but its a Her lah. cos grace insisted she wan hers to be a Him. de person from de "hospital" said 90% it would be okay. but he couldnt ensure tt everything in my baby would be intact. omg, de most terrifying thought. i could have die crying jus tinking of it. but, as long as my precious princess is alright, den so be it. damn those pple who "invented" those viruses and harmed my baby.
oh please, whichever god hears my prayers, bless my baby!
and i miss him so, and always.
*i wont be alone. || 8:38 AM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.