.Lines that never cross.

ooh-la-la.

i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.

one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

this semester is really bad.
its already de 6th week.
and i've never been punctual in any of my 1st class everyday.
and im de top in class.......... for skipping class.
granny's gonna skin me alive.
if she ever find out tt my advisor wanna see me cos of de no. of class i skipped.

oh well.

i am MIA queen. *applause*

feel really sucky these days. and i seriously hate it. i wish i really could do something. but given my as-stubborn-as-maybelyn character, i would not give in. well, as least for now. and i really hate it when im being labelled as de bad person. or am i really one? perhaps. i dunno. perhaps im tinking too highly of myself. cos as much as i wanted to do smth i-tink-good for this situation, im being classified as unreasonable, throwing tantrums, losing temper and BAD PERSON. and its like NO ONE is on my side. making me really, really seems like de bad guy in de picture. oh well, whatever happen to fair judgement and justice? if its only me, making a fuss over this situation, alright, call me unreasonable, i dun care. but in fact, there's others agreeing wid wat i say, or at least, they told me they agree. jus that they couldnt show their stands. fine, to u it might be only a trivial matter, but to me, its smth that could really affect me alot. and i dun see de reason why u r so unaffected by it. or at least u show me that u r not, at all. and if so, why i am still so upset when u dun even care? so now i trying to make things difficult for myself. okay, watever. =x

i am emotional. so what? i like it.

i am stubborn. so what? thats me.

i like to throw tantrums sometimes. so what? im jus so spoilt.

i say wat i wan. so what? i call it straightforward and true.
fuck off hypocrites.

im jus sucha bitch. so what? fuck off if u hate it.

but no matter wat i am, i am NOT UNREASONABLE!

i could be reasoned wid.
dun go round telling pple tt i cant when u never even try to.
~!@#$#!!~

and i trust pple becos i treat them as FRIENDS.

and i treat pple as FRIENDS becos i TRUST them.

*i am a lie detector. so pls dun be a liar.
it wont break my heart, but soon, i'll break urs.*

and i do ACCEPT COMMENTS. be it positive or negative.

and i wont BLOW MY TOP jus becos u say im QUICK TEMPER.

i do things for A REASON. and i dun ALWAYS TINK TT IM RIGHT.

i dun lose my temper or throw my tantrum for NO REASON.

i dun give a "black face" unless im being PROVOKED.

i dun jus hate pple jus becos they OFFENEDED ME.

wat im trying to say, and again, I AM NOT UNREASONABLE.

if really one day, im not stubborn anymore, i listen to watever pple say, i agree to watever do, im no longer spoilt, i no longer have any stand, i dun throw tantrum, i dun lose my temper............
beware, there's an evil spirit in my body. tts definitely not maybelyn.

for pple out there, who dun understand me,
or used to tink tt they actually do understand,
now i hope u guys REALLY UNDERSTAND ME.
im sure watever i say its UNDERSTANDABLE.
read it CLEARLY before saying smth NOT TRUE abt me again.

the end.

*i wont be alone. || 10:32 AM

she is she, nobody but SHE.

maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.

she loves...

she wishes for...

she doesnt know, either.