i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
and now i finally noe wats regret.
regret : a feeling of sadness about something sad or wrong or about a mistake that you have made, and a wish that it could have been different and better
yeap. it could be different, it could be alot better. eating my words now. taken from 5th june's entry : "i always tell myself, never mind de outcome. jus do it. and live w/o regrets." now not only im living in regrets, im like living in hell. shld haf say "tink twice before acting"?? i reckon its a damn big mistake made, no qualm. perhaps im tinking too much. but i used to believe my own instincts. now i hope i cant lie to myself tt watever's in my mind is BULLSHIT! liling's right. de more i tink, de more upset i am. but de more i try not to tink, de more uneasy i am. i tried to do other stuffs to distract myself. but i jus cant concentrate on anything. wth. i wan to cry. but there's no shoulder for me to lean on. i wan to confide. but there's no listening ears. i need someone now. where's grace? where's liling? where's everybody?! nowhere near me. =( watever it is, i hope to survive.
nth more to report.
there's only rainy days left in my left. no more sunshine i guess.
*i wont be alone. || 10:48 AM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.