i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
*sick*
haix. terribly sick. wth. din go for tuition this morning. haix. wanted to continue slping after calling Jordan to cancel tuition. but cant really slp. when finally managed to fall asleep. leighton called and smsed me. argh. wth. went back to slp after smsing wid him, finally. had a dream. nice dream. and yes, dream's always different from reality. haix. overslept for Hydrus meeting. thank god huanzhi smsed me. hehs. when i wake up, its already 12.46pm. meeting's @ 1pm in skool. phew. late, late, late. insisted going back even thou im terribly sick la. haix. but, wth. argh~ haix. dreams and reality?! argh. stayed in skool for awhile. den all headed to liangzhen's house. to continue wid freshies ID. finally get everything right. done wid abt 40plus belts for de time being. reached home @ arnd 8pm. phew. tired and sick. argh.
i got a damn bad feeling. hmmm. dunno why. argh. i wanna feel good. i wanna be good. phew. whichever, whenever, wherever, whoever, WATEVER!
nth more to report.
so wat if i do not haf to miss u anymore. it makes no difference.
*i wont be alone. || 10:20 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.