ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
microecons test is bad!! very bad!! guess im gonna flunk it, again!!! oh gosh... guess i juz need some motivation.. haix.. i need someone to ask me to study, force me to study, watch me study, study wid me, look at me in a damn serious face n say 'study lah ok, be a good girl..' argh~ phew.. glad tt my sister n her bf is going on fine.. well, im not jealous, and i dun envy.. im so damn happy for her.. oh ya, im jealous.. but only when she treat him better than me.. wahahaha!!!!
i miss those dazzling smiles so much.. its been so long since eyes met, and smiled.. i seriously need to recharge myself wid those smiles.. im feeling so damn weak, and shattered.. wats wid me.. phew~
i need another shot of anaesthesia, to ease de pain.. de pain of slicing away part of de heart is unbearable.. i rather die.. how i wish tt u had nv come into my life b4.. how i wish tt i could treat u as a stranger.. how i wish tt i can pretend nth had happen.. how i wish tt u can get out of my life now.. i dun need u anymore.. i dun wan to need u anymore.. i noe tt everything's over when i feel nth when i met u tt night.. i dun cry anymore, i dun miss u anymore, i dun tok abt u anymore, i dun love u anymore.. everything's OVER... and yes, i noe i get my fresh life.. i'll get a new guy.. a new guy who occupies my heart more than u do.. i dun wan memories of us to haunt me anymore.. i wan to cry, but not for u.. i wan to dream, but not of u.. i wan to miss, but not u.. i wan to love, but not u.. im proud of myself, cos im over you..
phew~ feel tt im not shouldering any burden anymore.. im getting a new life.. im moving on, finally..
*i wont be alone. || 11:35 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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