ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Media player, now playing : B.A.D - wo de duo.
matches my mood? definitely not! lol..
blogging.. shit sia.. did i juz flunk my econs paper? yes, i did.. god.. how could such things happen? rotten luck? no. lazy me. de econs paper today was exactly de same as last sem's paper loh.. and i actually got tt paper wid me for abt 2 weeks! but i dun even bother to do tt paper, or even read through loh.. all i did was reading de econs notes again n again, w/o understanding anything! and now great, pple r going to get good grades.. when i'll be failing my paper.. cool. and i lost 6marks! stupid noodles, cassette tapes n Switzerland.. lol.. there's answer in my paper loh! y i so forgetful? duh~ sucks lah.. i walked out of de exam hall, semi-confident. after looking at de paper i had, confident level=0. i tot i could haf pass well loh.. duh.. now good.. im going to flunk it.. left wid 2papers.. bca, de one i hated most.. cipr, de one i repeated.. wat could de outcome be? expected.
talked abt alot of things wid denise darling @ library today.. still couldnt get anything right.. stubborn me is soon gonna get hurt again.. but, how could i juz let go like this.. its not easy.. denise noes.. he noes.. and i noe.. is letting go de best way i haf? is being determined this time a big mistake? guessed so.. and guess i've not much choices.. i dunno.. well, denise had decided.. hope she's going to do it.. and hope aunty love's advice is gonna help.. and hope everything's gonna be alright for her.. she's a lucky gurl.. she got de courage.. tts de only thing i lacked of.. if i possess de courage she has, perhaps, stubborn me is going to be happy.. courage, courage, where art thou?
feeling weird lately.. weird. really weird. dun ask why. cos i dunno why either.
update again..
*i wont be alone. || 7:22 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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