ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
juz came from skool.. so late... had a long n Good talk wid my bitches... grace n denise... well... definitely feel better... but i suddenly got this feeling to lead back de life when im in sec 4 again.. i tink its better off liddat... maybe i juz sux...
maybe its juz so gr8 tt 3 of us actualli put everything on de table n tok.. well... at least this improve our frenship.. thanks alot gurls... i appreciate this frenship.. thou im still so faithless in everything.. but i believe tt u gurls could pull me thru...
and i owe someone a thousand millions of apologies!!!!! i noe i shouldnt haf say tt matter to her, esp. when everybody now is in such low spirits... but im realli struggling... to tell or not to tell.. both decisions haf bad consequences... i dunno whether i did de right thing.. both denise n grace say its right.. but i still feel veri guilty... i feel indebted to her.. shouldnt haf let her noe this cruel truth.. how could she possibly take it... XXX... once again i haf to tell u.. a thousand apologies wouldnt make it up for u... im realli so sorrie... i regretted tell de fact to u.. i noe u cant take it.. thou this might sounds abit too mushy.. but ur tears make me painful... i noe its me who brought u de tears... in de first place... if is not bcos of me.... this wouldnt haf happen... im realli sorrie... i brought u misery everytime... u r de only one who stood by me when everyone is juz like boycotting me.. when i've lost everything, god gave u to me... maybe this is life... got to lose smth which u tink tt its impt to u b4 u really receive de real nice one... got some words to say to u..
well.. this sounds so dotx...
gosh.. stupid photobucket... dunno y de fotos in there all gone? damn it!! ah!! haf to add everything AGAIN!!!!!!! haix... some fotos haf to edit again loh.. piangz.. dun care lah.. got time den do... haha!!!
feeling better as day goes by.. perhaps this is juz fate....
i din betray pple, but pple betrayed me
i got no choice but i haf to admit
this is as good as being dead
i juz haf to submit to my fate
nice eh... haix... got nth more to say le.. hope things would turn better.. at least i still haf 'hope'..
*i wont be alone. || 1:42 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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