Thursday, September 30, 2004
blogging... still.. bad mood... haix....
issues on frens... ive already put it aside... suddenly, feel tt there's nth i could do... nth to do to save frenship, relationship n all... ah... life...
matters of heart... 3yrs... suddenly feel tt 3yrs of waiting for him is useless... 3 yrs?!!?!?! haf i wasted my 3yrs?!?!??!?!! haiz... juz read his blog.. he juz updated it ytd... but i was shattered after i read it... he mention a gurl's name... sad to say, its not my name... not maybelyn... but someone else... pain... juz pain... after all this sufferings ive got, i still cant stand well in his heart... or, i still CANT ever stand in his heart?! well.. wat can i do but to gif in to this fucking thing call FATE?! fate brings us so close together once n pull us away... so near yet so far... de one tt showered me wid lurve, care n concern, is u... but de one tt drop me from heaven to hell, de one tt put me into agony, de one tt cause me to live forever in pain... its u too... do u realli tink u got de right to do tt? do u tink u could trample over my heart in this way? do u ever noe how hard im suffering? do u?!?!?!?! ah!!!!!!!!!
i nv gif up when i noe tt u r together wid her... i still go on.. go on wid my life... go on living in de little world of mi n u.. continue placing u in my dreams, where i could only see u real... dreams... dreams... its been a long time u appear in my dreams... sometimes i realli feel tt all ur msges r fake! everything u say r untrue... all de things u say... im in dilemma... sometimes i rather u had never appear in my dreams, so tt i wont wake up n reach for ur hands tt WERE NEVER THERE!!! sometimes i rather u had never intrude my life b4.. u simply juz mess up everything... sometimes i realli feel like killing u... strangling u to death... u pull mi back to u when im always on de verge of giving up.. how i wish im living in a world w/out u... so tt i could gif a whole heart to de one who love mi wholeheartedly.. i noe tt it could nv be u... oh boy... u hurt me.. deeply.. i could be happy again i noe.. but de scars in my heart... will always be there... even u... could nv make de scars disappear... i realli hate u... hate u for all de sufferings u gave mi!! u cast a spell on mi n i will be cursed by u forever!! all my life!! i hate u!!!!!!!!
sometimes i rather be a little kid... bcos a scraped knee is easily heal than a broken heart...
my blog theme... [wishing upon the stars]... could stars help? will stars grant my wish..? wishing upon the stars... star star star... if only this theme is true... since dunno when, ive been wishing n wishing... pray to de god.. de moon.. de stars.. watever i could pray to... so many wishes... but... sad ending... wishes nv come true... stars... u r a liar...
forever my sendoh^7... when u r only true...
bring us back where our love first started
where did it all gone
never thought tt love could juz slip us by
but u're inside of me
i've been holding on
a prayer in my heart
wish u would come running to me and
bring me back when love was our power
lets gif love a change [plz gif mi a chance]
and let mi noe this time u're gonna stay
oh baby come to me im waiting
let me hold u tight wont let go
bring it back where love's so good
i noe it isnt easy sure i'll try
i got this feeling We'll Be Fine
bring us back, by Christopher Lee & Michelle Saram
*i wont be alone. || 11:18 AM