ooh-la-la.
i hasten to laugh at everything
for fear of being obliged to weep
laughters and tears are both reponses
to fustration and exhaustion
laughter gives us distance
it allows us to step back from an event
deal with it and then move on
but i too believe those who don't know
how to weep with their whole heart
don't know how to laugh either.
one of the worse feelings in the entire world is knowing that you arent good enough,
what's even worse is knowing at the same time that you'll never be.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
blogging... bad mood... days r not easy to survive thru.. alrite.. lets get started...
finding a good fren is not as easy as i tot... initially... i tot tt if 2 persons haf de same frequency, chances of being gd frens is high... but i guess i was wrong... 2 persons on de same track doesnt mean they haf to go thru de marathon together... even wid de same frequency, if one party dun haf de tendacy to maintain a gd frenship... everything is useless.... y do i suddenly haf so much tots on this... i dunno... im starting to lose my faith n trust in frenship, relationship n almost everything!! frens??! wat r frens for? arent frens supposed to be trustworthy? but y izit tt all de frens i trusted seems to be betraying me? how could she backstabbed me when i actualli believe in all she say? bcos of her words, i even misjudge n misunderstand my 5-yr fren!! n in de end de truth is, de cruel truth is.... i gave my vulerable trust to de wrong person!! n i shall say again!! n de victim is always de same person... my 5yr fren... for de 2nd time, bcos of wat pple say, i misunderstand her...
gosh!! i sux totally! im a bitch! im a rotten bitch!!! i nv expect tt frens will turn out to be de ones betraying u!! ah!! im sorrie my 5yr fren... thou i apologized for 'n' times... but all de apologies r not enuff to clear away de unfairness to u.... frens.... so precious yet so demonic... pple out there.... a piece of advice from a victim.... [dun ever trust someone totally! de closest person of urs might be de one tt eventually will crash u to death!!]
backstabbers!!!! frens = backstabbers!! this equation... izit true? in dilemma again... n now... once again... i take de risk... to trust my frens again... de 2 bloody bitches!! [hope they noe its them bah] wahaha!!! frens frens frens.... dun trample on my trust again... n de bloody backstabber... one more time n i'll blow my top!! dun make me lose my cool!!!
alright.. enuff of bad happenings... but seems tt there's not much happy happenings lately... haix... is life supposed to be so tragic? haix.... watever!
biz stats test tml! tonight going to haf a late night... hmmm.. so shall update again... tata peeps!
::: now de stage is bare, there's no one, where it used to be so magical, all de roles i played in, never a happy ending :::
::: i remember, de first time, u took me by de hand, u said was meant to be, if love is urs it will find a way :::
bring us back....
*i wont be alone. || 12:30 PM
she is she, nobody but SHE.
maybelyn.
18 november.
and...
she belongs to nowhere.
she loves...
she wishes for...
she doesnt know, either.
understand;
maybelyn;
speak;
mingle;
reminisce;
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